California Department Of Consumer Affairs

to find that friend secretly wish you ill, to the extent that it actually tries to sabotage?

Most of the time you walk, right?

, but there is no part of you that desperately yearns to them why?

People are insecure, and sometimes it is impossible to be happy for other people's successes, if you're unhappy in your own life. This is particularly understandable if a friend of the success of strikes in the middle of one of your perceived shortcomings. And you certainly are allowed a certain amount of sympathy and self-pity.

But where it goes too far when it is actively trying to harm, sabotage and boycott friends. Worse still, even when he said a friend of the goals are not even remotely related to yours, but you still can not bare to watch them succeed.

I witnessed such an exchange between two friends ...

Marie is 42 years old, single, loud, overweight, heavy drinker, who talks about how obsessive people are jerks. Amber is 36, happily married with a child on the road.

Marie started a restaurant blog and a month later began boasting to anyone who would listen that he is already more than three hundred comments on his blog. At the same time, Amber begins to mental health blog, and wondered why she was not getting any comments.

"Will you comment on my blog?" asked Marie, hoping to at least get one comment.
Once a week later, Marie has not yet been commented on, Amber asked why, to which Marie looked away and replied: "I'm sorry that I almost never on my computer."
"So how do you get three hundred people interested in my blog?" Amber asked.
"I do not know, I think people just really want to read about good food ."

Amber certainly put that Marie would not have to add a comment for her, especially since other friends have been shown to be more than happy to provide this simple favor. But three hundred posts in one month! Amber began to wonder whether Marie may not be withholding something.

Without knowledge of the Internet, Amber banged his head against the wall night after night trying to figure out how to get her blog noticed. Of course she got the odd comment, but nowhere near the speed of Marie. Amber was getting upset.

A few weeks later bumped into Amber Marie very drunk at the party, who happened to have a friend in tow. Jessica is the archetypal San Jose tech genius, who lived, breathed and dreamed of a computer. She spoke of programming and coding and things that do not understand Amber Marie. Then he discovered the truth.

"I was helping Marie with her blog, and I'd be happy to help you too," she said Amber
"That's very kind of you," replied Amber. "Tell me exactly how to help you Marie?"
"So I made ​​her blog site and I am also using SEO and other tools. There are now more than three hundred followers ."

So, Marie is getting all the credit for someone else's work. And she was willing to share information in order to be her friend. But why?

"Jessica will help my blog," said Amber Marie, when he returned from getting more drinks.
Marie said nothing, suddenly seems to be sulking.

A few days later, Jessica called Amber, "I'll help you, but you must keep it for yourself. Marie was determined not to need help."

"But why?" said Amber. "Our blogs are not even remotely related or competing with each other."
"I do not have any," said Jessica. "I think it's just very insecure ."

Amber now understand what the person was Marie. Marie stopped returning calls, ignoring her e-mail and essentially gone.

, but is it really Amber is the only choice? Can she not faced Marie and give her a chance to apologize? What would you do in a situation of Amber?

when a friend was a selfish and deceitful to the point that you learn that this person wants to make you sick, you might want to deal with it in one of the following ways:

1) You face them. Be prepared, however, that instead of slaughtering his head in shame and apologizing, the person may attempt to justify harshly, to turn and even make it look like you're wrong. Trying this approach only if you are unsure of their arguments. Select one message you want to convey, in the case of Amber could repeat the style of a broken record "what you did or did not tell me you did not know how you got so many comments on your blog?" Do not allow yourself to be sidetracked with other arguments or led down the path in which the person is a list of things that is wrong in the past. Nobody is perfect, and probably too many mistakes at some point in your friendship, but for the purposes of this argument, it's not the point. Do not allow another person to make it time for the convenience of winning their case.

2) You can try to help them. Again, beware, for you to accept your help, another person must be willing to accept that they behaved inappropriately. If Amber Marie approached me and said I know you tried to sabotage my efforts, but I value our friendship enough to help you, Marie might deny it outright and, as mentioned above, to turn everything against Amber.

3) You forgive and forget. If you discipline a shaman who sleeps on a bed of nails every night, it is rarely done. You May say that is not all that bad, but do not be fooled, because it will eat into your confidence for that person. It is likely that you will no longer view of friends with the same love, respect and consideration as you did before, and eventually resentment will build. I would recommend against this option, except, as I said, you have the discipline to really forgive and forget really.

4) You can walk. Unfortunately, unless your friend is the kind of person whose vocabulary includes, "I'm sorry, I messed up, please forgive me," walking away is often the only option you have. Unfortunately most toxic people are not familiar with the concept of asking for forgiveness, which is why most of their victims choose to walk away without a word.